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No sex that night, huh? Not even from the ex, I'll bet.
It's great being the Nice Guy, huh? Quite frankly, after being suckered into that pathetic display of ex-girlfriend *Yes, dear* behavior, I don't think you stand much of a chance with either of them. But if you want to turn it around, you should simply go ask the new girl out and pretend that nothing happened. As long as you weren't rude in your departure with your ex, she might have interpreted the situation as just another woman in your life that wants you. (Which would normally be good.) And if you have to explain, just tell her you needed to help out your ex in a time of need. Don't answer apologetically whatever you do. Own up to the choice you made. Again, it all depends on how you cut it short with the new girl as to whether you can go back. You say you *left her hanging,* which does not sound like you explained yourself well. Hey, at this point, you've got nothing to lose. |
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Another form of pain management is to ensure that you interpret women's reactions correctly. It's easy and tempting to read too much into a woman's behavior, and even more difficult to not take her reactions too seriously. Remember that while you're trying to get into her bed, you should never try to get into her head. You need to keep your observation of her behavior based only on the results you get. Watch only what she DOES, not what she says. Her actions will tell you what she is feeling, even when her words seem to contradict. If you get caught up in the game of trying to figure out why she didn't call, or why she always flirts with other guys when you're around, you'll create a lot of pain for yourself. Stay as detached from her as possible at the early stages so you can avoid getting misdirected.
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The only thing I want to add here is that if a woman FREQUENTLY does this, especially once you are already in a RELATIONSHIP, and if you are being THE MAN, (i.e. not being a jackass and not kissing up) then she is BAD NEWS. It's a sign of massive insecurity, or worse, sadism, and you should run away as fast as you can.
home up
Over the past 3 days I've been teaching the Double Your Dating LIVE! Seminar in New York... and it was an amazing experience.
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There were guys who flew in from all over the world sharing and learning together. And, of course, I always learn so much by teaching and interacting with a great group of guys. This program was no exception... One of the things that we talked over and discussed a lot was the idea of why women feel ATTRACTION for some men while NOT feeling it for others (even though the men that a woman feels ATTRACTION for might not be good choices for her because they're abusive, etc.). If you recall, one of the concepts that I teach goes something like this: ATTRACTION isn't something that is logically chosen. ATTRACTION is basically an EMOTIONAL RESPONSE to certain cues and behaviors. One of the things I've isolated that seems to cause women to feel this magical ATTRACTION to men is the idea that I call being *Cocky & Funny*.
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