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You appearance should be dressy casual, a nice shirt/sweater, maybe clean jeans (new-ish not tattered) or khaki pants. No 2 piece suits for the man, no dresses or skirts for the ladies, you want to be comfortable, remember, it’s just coffee, right?

Prepare yourself for a long 20 minutes of chit chat and asking/answering questions. Preparation includes deciding what to ask and how you’d answer the same. Don’t worry about saying things like “Isn’t that a third date question?” instead of feeling that you need to answer everything. Try to keep the questions open ended and the other person talking. Surprisingly enough, people do like to talk about themselves more that hearing about others and you’ll easily come off a winner by letting the other person talk. Of course, this could backfire if they are “boorish” and have a self-importance personality that was not previously displayed, but at least you’ll know more about the person and it’s only 20 minutes out of your life rather than an entire evening (or heaven help us, a lifetime!)

At this point, I believe a woman makes a subtle TEST...she wants to see if you MEAN BUSINESS, or if you are just playing around, or if you are too scared to really do this kind of thing, etc, etc.

DO NOT SMILE when you ask for the email. Look her straight in the eye, totally calm, without fear, without smiling. You are being a man, offering a woman something she WANTS. Sugar coating it with smiles, etc, only makes it look like you are trying to sell her a raw deal. And if there is a pause, a silence, DO NOT FILL THE *uncomfortable* quiet by saying ANYTHING.

You asked her for her email, and now she has a CHOICE to say yes no or maybe. But if YOU fill the void, it's a sign of you NOT being confident, it's a sign of you trying to find a way out of this *emotional risk* (which is really no risk when you think about it)- and that would not be sexy. During that pause, she will be checking your expression to see if you are a MAN. If she sees you MEAN it, and are offering her NO EASY WAY OUT to lessen the rejection you may face, it shows her you are not afraid of the consequences of your asking, because you MEAN IT and are prepared to accept whatever may happen.

This is NOT desperation, it's MEANING BUSINESS.

Are you in search of that someone special to be more than just friends are? Learn to read more into the written words. Find descriptions such as ‘looking for love’, ‘searching for that someone special’, ‘more than friends’, ‘quiet and cozy’, ‘easy going and lovable’, ‘special times’, ‘treasured moments’, and words similar to ‘lovable’.

 

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