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Today, to a woman, these things either mean the guy has no clue about modern dating, or is desperate. Either way, it signals to her that it’s a guy who isn’t a winner. But chocolates and flowers are just the TIP OF THE ICEBERG when it comes to double standards.
Most guys, if out with a woman, will cater to her EVERY WHIM, including things that make no sense. For example, you may be out with a woman at a café, and she’ll ask you to get her the straw, the magazine at the rack to read, the plastic fork, ask you to bring her order, etc, etc. Now, if it was a guy, you’d probably tell him, “Hey dude, get it yourself”. |
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You LEARNED TO BEHAVE THAT WAY.
One of the reasons you behaved that way was because you were TAUGHT (through movies, TV shows, advice from parents, etc) that women were delicate, non-sexual, made of sugar and spice, and that women appreciated super nice guys, etc. So you figured *Okay, then I'll buy women flowers, chocolates, dinners, compliment them, etc. and then they’ll like me”. Then you got less than wonderful results. And then you labeled yourself as if it was a permanent label. |
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home up |
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Fortunately, there are some clues to help you figure out if your first date is really a heart-to-heart connection, or a just one-sided illusion. Next time you're on a first date, keep an eye out for these telltale signals:
Give 'em a Body Check: When to people are really making a connection, their bodies line up (toe to toe, heart to heart, face to face) and they tend to mimic each other's gestures and voice levels. Which means if your date is soft-spoken and you're a shake-the-walls loudmouth, you'll both instinctively feel that something is a bit off-kilter. |
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